Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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