Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I didn't notice because vodka
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
