the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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