Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
