the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I puked a lego.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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