sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she looked like the before picture.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
