and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
