My sheets look like a crime scene.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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