HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
