i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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