Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
