You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize