I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
