do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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