It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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