i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
