Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Someone signed my nipple.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize