Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
