You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
