We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
