Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
