i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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