I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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