you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
