is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
