you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
