and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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