Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
