She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
