You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
