the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
