How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im holly from the hills drunk
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
