Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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