We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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