I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
