I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
