We got so high we made milksteak
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
