Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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