we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
