She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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