What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize