Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
