yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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