Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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