Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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