Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
