I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
