well you can't waste a boner
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize