on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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