I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
