also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
