The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
