Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
