Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
