she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Can I color on your dick again?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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