i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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