47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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