I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i think i just lost a toe
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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