hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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