It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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