I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
