You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize