remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
