I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
