You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
